Dating the Dwarf with a Glass Slipper

Midlife has a way of making you look at relationships and love differently. My history of disastrous relationships has been my fault. The sad reality, lightning bolts never zapped and fireworks were lacking. This was true in my dateless teens, tiring twenties (two kids), lackluster thirties, hopeful forties, and the fateful fifties.

If the relationship had a chance to blossom, it became boring and predictable. These all fall into the half pain and half pleasure category. The question is always lurking somewhere in your brain, do you really want to spend the rest of your life bored? Ok, I hear you,” Robyne, you never met the right man!” You are right, rode the dating merry go round for a number of decades. Somewhere inside, I felt that the right person was not on the horse, lion, tiger or zebra. Sat in the bench alone… Round and round.  

 It is time to stop the violen playing. I need get out and do some dating research. Starting with a local dining location on the water. Overdressed people yakking at their dates while watching them act interested. You could see by the facial expressions the conversations were superficial and boring. It appeared they are there to get noticed and care more about the martini being perfect.

  The people are all trying to live life in the bubble of prosperity. The land of $50,000 a year millionaires.  While sitting at the bar drinking a diet coke, the top question asked by all, except one, what is your occupation? These are phrased differently per person but the question is always on the list. My response, as little as possible. This of course is not true but to explain it would be over the top. When did an income check become required to date?

 Decide to check out the Publix grocery store to study men. My game plan included looking into their cart, and asking myself, would I eat that? Carts have a way of telling you a lot about a person.  The following men were victims of my article.

Guy #1, he has soups and lots of them. They are lined in the cart by type and style. He is dressed nice and you get the OCD feel right away .Cooking is not his thing ….Yawn….

Guy #2, OMG does he really eat all that junk food? His overweight body screams exercise me! It has endured years of Little Debbie Snack cake abuse. He must be a wounded soul seeking comfort in mashed potatoes and Doritos.  This is sad, very sad…. 

There is a Gym next door, I will be in town for a while and need to work out. The Snack Cake King must have triggered this visit.  I have to give these people credit; they are trying to do something with their bodies. You can see it in their faces, a drive and ambition to overcome grandma batwings and belly done lap (as we call it in the south). . Men and women in all shapes size sweating away for $10 a month. Good price, nice people, where do I sign? 

 Time to check out Good Ole Boy Central, the redneck bar and pool hall. Up to the bar I go, they have Kenny Chesney music going, pool balls clacking and diet coke. I had a fun time and met some wonderful bikers. Some shared great stories and were much more interesting than snooty Fish Central.

Does love really exist?  Midlife Cinderella’s can’t sit at home waiting on Prince Charming; the glass slipper broke years ago.  Is there hope for the Dumbo or will he spend his time alone forever? Will the Sleepy dwarf find love, or did it pass him by while napping? Maybe this is all a Fairy tale… Of sorts….